Win double tickets for Imagine: a day party with Morten Granau


From the same crews who brought you some of the Mother City’s most beloved festivals, including Paradise Beach and Vortex OpenSource, comes “Image;” a day party like no other. Following the ground-breaking debut of Morten Granau in South Africa at Kogel Bay (read the review), The Collective is proud to announce that the progressive sensation is due to return for an unrivalled outdoor adventure featuring EmoutikonDeadbeat FM, Sad Paradise, Feedback, Connecto , Humerous, The Commercial Hippies and Sway. Experience a fourteen-hour-long musical journey set in the lush valley of Franschoek Valley. With rolling grass lawns and a massive dam situated right by the dance-floor, it’s the perfect setting to dance your innermost dreams into existence.

morten granau imagine day party

Psyked in the City is giving away 2 x tickets to one lucky trooper. To enter, follow the instructions below.

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Preserved Apricots

Graze slow food cafe

Yes, I know it’s the middle of winter and apricots are far from in season. But as it happens my sister in law is fortunate enough to be on a sort of sabbatical in the south of France and she tells me apricots are available in abundance, of course as it is the middle of summer & yes we are allowed to be slightly envious of her chateau type setup in the rural country side.  We receive no updates of the relaxed Provencal experience but rather an urgent request on what to do with all these apricots?
So, my dear Sis here is the what to do’s for preserving apricots:

You’ll need :  Apricots, Sugar, Water, Jar(s) that close tightly.
Use 1 to 1 sugar to water, so if you are using 1L water, you’ll need 1kg sugar.
Water goes into a saucepan, add the sugar and bring to the boil, dissolve the sugar and let boil…

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The lighter, brighter side of load-shedding

It feels like 2008 again. The year when Eskom uttered one word that struck fear into every South African’s heart. “Load-shedding.” A word that meant no electricity at the most inconvenient times which could last for two to up to 24 hours. You never knew when it would strike; it was basically electricity roulette.

The Knick animated GIF

Normal reaction to Eskom

Truth be told I knew we hadn’t seen the last of load-shedding, which honestly sounds like we have too much electricity that needs to be freed into the ether –the very opposite of the state of affairs we find ourselves in. Thankfully, I am not in university anymore where I actually need to be up all night, using my laptop in a frenzy whilst trying to complete an essay that I should have started two weeks prior.

The first load was shed (?!) last night while at my father’s house in Tamboerskloof and lasted more or less the two hours that were stated. I expected to be seething with rage. I was fully ready to launch an attack on Twitter aimed at Eskom complete with grossly insulting portmanteau (you can guess which swear word). But then, it didn’t actually suck.

Luckily it’s November, which means the sun starts to set a lot later here in Cape Town. So, my brothers (in a stroke of ingenuity I have never seen before) got out table tennis and we set it up in the road. Thus, the first Milner Road Table Tennis Tournament was underway, with the rest of the neighbours gradually joining in. The cul-de-sac came alive with people walking their dogs, skating, little babas riding their black, plastic bikes and me, drinking beer and taking pictures.

cape town

cape town


table tennis cape town

eskom table tennis

eskom table tennis

As my stepmom said, “this is what happens when you don’t have electricity.”

After it started getting dark, we all decided to play 30 Seconds. Along with the candles, my brother’s friend came up with a better way to light up the table:

  • Get 1x plastic water bottle
  • Fill it with water
  • Turn on your phone’s torch
  • Sit the water bottle (making sure it’s dry) on top of the light
  • Presto, lantern

30 Seconds was fraught with accusations, hilarious clues and bad pronunciation. All in all, a good time was had and the electricity came on before we had even finished. I maintain my stepmother and I got the worst cards ever. Case in point:


Google it.

I can in no way compare my experience to the rest of you –I especially commiserate with the UCT students (friends included), who had no power on campus and are in the midst of exams or anyone else with Monday deadlines.

For the rest of you, take heart. Prepare a little in advance, use your candles, get romantic, get literary or take to the streets. Show Eskom that they may take our electricity but they can’t take our sense of imagination.

imagination animated GIF

No electricity required


Halloween for the lazy and desperate

The working world seems to celebrate Halloween just as much as the chocolate-keen child and the booze-ridden varsity student, although there is an added pressure to dress up as something simultaneously funny, topical and creative.

Having left most of my novelty gear in various bars, res rooms and my childhood home over the years, I Googled “lazy Halloween costumes” where I discovered a saving grace for people like me. If you’re skint, couldn’t care less and driven by the knowledge that the shit that makes up your costume will probably be out of your possession by the next morning, these costume ideas can help. These are mostly made up of things you can easily buy or find lying around the house. A bonus is that they require no paint or glitter (my friend Cam calls the “herpes of crafts”). Paint looks great for about an hour until you want to start living your life again by drinking a beer or dancing which turns you into a messy preschooler. The only solution to this is to “Go Gaga” and look like a mess from the start.

lazy halloween

This kid has life figured out and will go far, developing the social media we are going to use in 2030. Image:

lazy halloween costume

Turbo lazy Image:

This may be my favourite if not very work appropriate. Image:

lazy halloween costume

Adult Halloween: ruining your childhood since the internet. Image:

lazy halloween costume

Max Fischer (Rushmore optional) No surprise I found this in an album called “Brooklyn Halloween 08” Image:

lazy halloween

Expect eyerolls and people not thinking you’re cool. Image:

lazy halloween

He definitely got some in the bathroom. Image:

Honourable Mention goes to GQ. They tick topical, humorous and easy by suggesting dudes go as Meltdown Shia Le Beouf.

Tried and tested costumes to save anyone are:

  • Buying a witch/wizard hat and wearing a cape
  • Dressing like Tom Cruise in Risky Business if you know you aren’t going to be actually dancing on tables
  • Drawing “S” on a white shirt, wearing white pants and going as “salt.” ( A friend could be Pepper).
  • Wes Anderson movies have tons of individual specific characters to crib off.

A Rocking the Daisies Checklist

For everyone who uses their social media accounts on the regular, it’s now 2 days until Rocking the Daisies 2014 and, thus, we are seeing at least five parody videos, giveaways and helpful hints every hour.

I have only been to one RTD (sorry, can’t keep typing that shit) and I went for the Saturday and the Sunday as I had a fulltime job. It was worth it –Bloc Party gave me cool points in my teen years that my lack of boobs didn’t and listening to them on repeat during those years is something I am not ashamed to admit.

The only downfall is that this year I have to navigate the intricacies of a packing list as the time previously was wonderfully all organised by my friends who had roadtripped down.

rocking the daisies

The questions burned at me this year. What alcohol are we bringing? How much? How bad is the temperature at night? Most importantly, how do I keep my alcohol and food cold? I cannot tell you how much of an issue this is for me. Like all peeves, it started out as a tragic misstep. I swigged what seemed like a recently boiled Quali Juice bottle of orange juice and vodka once and now cannot drink screwdrivers anymore. The only way around this is to use berry juice and to prepare! Failure is not an option.

rocking the daisies

Novelty hats do not hydrate you. Image credit:

Essential items:

  • Tent
  • Sleeping bag: I have a massive man-sized one to turn myself into a duvet burrito. It gets cold at night so get drunk and wrap yourself in one.
  • Additional blanket: make sure it’s fleece and not pissy cotton. You do not want breathable fabric. Also make sure this does not leave the tent or you’ll be picking out the debris until the next RTD.
  • Pillow: stick to one, less to carry.
  • Toiletries: above all, remember the toothpaste and toothbrush, wet wipes, toilet paper and the towel.
  • Sunscreen and hat, just like on field trips.
  • Whatever clothes you like. I find this varies from person to person (I don’t believe in onesies simply for the lack of toilet logistics), although hoodies, leggings, beanies and big jackets help at night. Pretend you’re an onion, just don’t leave things on the dance floor.
  • Sunglasses
  • Torch or some kind of light that is not your phone: seriously.
  • Passport and/or ID/certified copy: check this before you leave because I can’t imagine how suicidal I’d feel if I was the plum who forgot the one thing to get into the party while my mates look on with shame.
  • Cooler box: this is going to save you. People may whinge that it takes up space in your car but these are probably the same people who believe that “eating is cheating” and on Sunday are unrecognisable and crying because they have intense sunstroke and haven’t drunk water since Thursday.
rocking the daisies

Like this person. Gif credit:

rocking the daisies


  • I am currently working on trying to find a biscuit-thin camp mattress. I can rough it if drunk enough, but would like to have some barrier between me and rocks.

Food and drink items:

I have debated long and hard on this and list in no way reflects any other party-goer. I’m going on Friday, therefore I am planning for the food and drink to last at least until Sunday morning, 9AM. From then, I will treat myself to an overpriced breakfast bun and a Magnum. Note: If you haven’t heard, RTD is swapping warm six packs for cool ones at the bar, so there is also that if you don’t have a cooler box.


My drink of choice this year is a little cocktail I modified from a German housemate. And beer.

  • 2x Stoney Ginger Ale
  • 2x bottles of vodka
  • 1x water bottle
  • 1x 5 L water bottle: extremely important
  • 2 x six pack beer
  • 2x lemons, the juice is for ginger beer cocktail
  • 1x cucumber cut into slices for cocktail
  • Pimms for cocktail (optional depending on how poor I am come Friday)
  • Ice: 2x packs (although also hoping we can get from the bar)


A contentious issue for some, I am now older and not above admitting that I need sustenance at least twice a day; especially if I am to stay vertical and semi-coherent enough to enjoy the music. Camping means anything that can go off quickly is to be ignored. So let’s stick to the basics.

  • Lots of hotdogs: cut and butter the buns before you go because I don’t think knives are allowed and I don’t want to “endorse” them, clearly you’re all out to stab people.
  • Tomato sauce/mustard
  • Fruit: apples and bananas
  • Chips, flavour and quantity dependent on you. I am bringing some hummus on the first day for dip.


  • I have found that the rule for this is: it doesn’t matter how many you buy, you will end up having to bum by 4pm on Sunday anyway. So never enough.
  • Lighter, have one in the car and one on your person. However, we once had a group of about 6 people who, in an act of universal fuckery, all lost their lighters simultaneously. The car lighter was the hero of this story.


  • Coffee has to be bought at a vendor, the only luxury I will allow myself.
  • Spare cash: this depends on you, although I advise having a little emergency fund in your shoe. Don’t leave shit in your tent. Don’t rely on ATMs.

If you really want to prepare like some manic Bear Grylls of festivals, Noisey Vice suggests taking the Monday off to languish happily at home behind your drawn curtains (I have taken this tip) and to ensure your home on return is tidy and fridge stocked with at least one decent meal and some Creme Soda.

Cover image:

News Anchor Tells Viewers He Has Only Months To Live In A Heartbreaking On-Air Announcement

Just something to make you feel alive and lucky.


Anchorman Dave Benton has been working at Illinois TV station WCIA since 2005. Over that time, naturally he’s fostered a trusting and loyal relationship with his viewers. He considers himself so close to the community he serves that he wanted to share with them a very personal and heartbreaking bit of news: Because of his brain cancer, he has only four to six months left to live.

As you’ll see above, Benton has a very positive, yet grounded attitude when it comes to living out his last few days. It’s especially touching to hear him say that part of the reason he’s “breaking the news” on the air is so that other people battling cancer know that they aren’t fighting it alone.

Via CBS 3 Springfield

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